Yep, boys and girls, that time of year is upon us once again - the annual end-all be-all of sporting events - the Super Bowl (if you’re in the New Country, that is… if you live anywhere else on the globe, you can still console yourself with old-school soccer).

This year marks the 42nd annual Super Bowl, meaning we just don’t seem to get tired of this stuff! This time, in order to crown the champs of the 2007 playing season, the New York Giants will be facing the New England Patriots in a bout for the shiny trophy. The action will be taking place tonight at 6:30 PM EST (or a bit later if you’re further out on the West Coast), and will be broadcast live from the University of Phoenix Stadium in glorious Glendale.

If you’re a big football buff, there is no doubt in my mind that you have already secured a hip and happening Super Bowl screening party to attend. For those of you who are either apathetic, clueless about football or simply didn’t RSVP to any hot viewing parties, we’ve got a few suggestions to make this oh-so-special weekend fly by with ease and maximum comfort.

If you, like myself, care more about shopping on eBay than about the Super Bowl, let me clue you in on some football facts that may help you survive watching the game with your male companions.

Even if you are completely clueless as to the rules of football and the glory of all things NFL, if you plan on sitting through the entire event with your boyfriend, take the time to wise up and really grasp who’s fighting who here. Wanna really find your way? Here’s what you need to know to maximize your enjoyment for what many consider the greatest day of the year.

WHERE?!

This year the party’s going on in Glendale, AZ. The Super Bowl usually generates an economic impact of, on average, $200 to $300 million for the hosting city, so it’s easy to understand why cities compete aggressively for the right to hold these games. So…Hooray, Glendale! We hope you spend that money wisely.

WHAT?!?

Much like the plot on any Aaron Spelling show, the Super Bowl’s roots were not so super - they were about competition, jealousy and money. In 1960, Lamar Hunt, a Dallas businessman, established the American Football League (AFL) as a direct competitor to the already popular NFL. Why would someone play for the newbie AFL? It’s all about the money, and the AFL offered much higher salaries. Ahh, greed…Nothing like it!

In 1967, the two leagues decided to play a championship game. The first two years of this championship didn’t create that much interest, maybe because it was not yet called the Super Bowl, but had a much less catchy name. With time, this annual championship grew to be a mammoth television event and one of the highest paid slots for advertisers to fight over.

WHO…?

This year pits the New England Patriots verus the New York Giants. What does this mean, you ask? Well, one major issue here is the Giants’ defense. The Patriots offense has been nearly unstoppable, but this event’s Giant defense is TOUGH. Defensive End, Osi Umenyiura (pronounced OH-see yoo-men-YUR-ah, FYI), has played like a true Jedi, and their leader, Michael Strahan, might be feeling a little more driven than usual, as this is probably his last chance to win a Super Bowl. Yikes!

So…How to live through this?

The best way to cope with the situation is to admit you have a problem - here you are watching the Super Bowl, and you’ve got no clue as to what’s going on. Who are all those men in itty bitty shorts, chasing a ball around? Why do they have to stray so many yards down in order to make a difference? What’s a touchdown, anyway?!

Relax! Football is a game of inches played on a field measured in yards — English measurements are used to track movements on the field. When two teams step onto a football field, each is battling for every inch it can take from the other. Each team wants to defend the field that is behind it and invade the field in front of it. Ultimately, they want to gain enough ground to score a touchdown or field goal. If you still find yourself confused, you can at least make sure one thing goes right at your Super Bowl party - the dip!

If you don’t have the faintest interest in football, I strongly suggest you just fake it, at least if you intend on sitting through the game with friends - sure, you may hate football and the pagan rituals surrounding Super Bowl Sunday, but hey, no use ruining it for everyone else!

Have a great game! 5min is rooting for you!